Babycakes (babycakesin) wrote,

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Once upon a time, there was Supernatural, season 1

1x01: pilot

Sam: Dude, you gotta update your cassette tape collection.
Dean: Why?
Sam: Well for one they are cassette tapes. And two, Black Sabbath, Motorhead, Metallica... its the greatest hits of mullet rock.
Dean: House rules, Sammy, driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole.
Sam: Sammy is a chubby 12 year old. It's Sam okay.
Dean: Sorry cant hear you. The music's too loud.

Sam: Hey Dean. What I said earlier, about Mom and Dad, I'm sorry.
Dean: No chick flick moments.
Sam: Alright...jerk.
Dean: Bitch.

1x02: Wendigo


Haley: You didn't pack any provisions. You guys are carrying a duffle bag. You're not rangers, so who the hell are you?
Dean: Sam and I are brothers, and we're looking for our father. He might be here, we don't know. I just figured that you and me, we're in the same boat.
Haley: Why didn't you just tell me that from the start?
Dean: I'm telling you now. Besides, that's probably the most honest I've ever been with a woman. Ever. So we okay?
Haley: Yeah, okay.
Dean: And what do you mean I didn't pack provisions? (pulls out peanut butter M&Ms and walks away)

Dean: You okay?
Sam: Yeah, I'm fine.
Dean: Another nightmare?
(Sam clears throat)
Dean: You wanna drive for a while?
Sam: Dean, your whole life you never once asked me that.

Haley: I don't know how to thank you. (Dean gives her "the look") Must you cheapen the moment?
Dean: Yeah.

1x03: dead in the water


Dean: All right if you're goin' to be talking now, this is a very important phrase, so I want you to repeat it back to me one more time.
Lucas: Zeppelin Rules!
Dean: That's right, up high.

Dean: (to Sam) Oh god, we’re not going to have to hug or anything, are we?

Sam: “Kids are the best?" You don’t even like kids.
Dean: I love kids.
Sam: Name three children that you even know.
(long pause)
Sam: Forget it.
Dean: I’m thinking!

Dean: I just don't want to leave this town until I know that the kid is okay.
Sam: Who are you? And what have you done with my brother?

Andrea: (to Dean) Must be hard, with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pick-up line.

1x04: Phantom traveler


Sam: What is that?
Dean: It's an EMF meter. It reads electromagnetic frequencies.
Sam: I know what an EMF is. But why does that one look like a busted-up walkman?
Dean: (proudly) Because that's what I made it out of. It's homemade.
Sam: Yeah, I can see that.

Dean: Sam, this plane is going to crash, okay? So quit treating me like I'm freakin' four!
Sam: (very calmly) You need to calm down.
Dean: Well, I'm sorry I can't!
Sam: (still calm) Yes, you can.
Dean: Dude, stow the touchy-feely, self-help-yoga crap. It's not helping!

(Dean is being fidgety on the plane)
Sam: Just try to relax.
Dean: (through clenched teeth) Just try to shut up!

Sam: Are you ok?
Dean: No, not really.
Sam: Why? What's wrong?
Dean: I kind of have this problem with...
(moves his hand in a plane motion)
Sam: Flying?
Dean: It's never really been an issue until now.
Sam: You're joking right?
Dean: Do I look like I'm joking?! Why do you think I drive everywhere, Sam?!

Sam: Never? You're never afraid?
Dean: No, not really.
(Sam pulls a long knife out from under Dean's pillow)
Dean: That's not fear. That's precaution.
Sam: Alright, whatever. I'm too tired to argue.

Sam: If she's possessed, she'll flinch at the name of God.
Dean: Uh, nice.
(Dean gets up and starts to walk away)
Sam: Hey?
Dean: What?
Sam: Say it In Latin.
Dean: I know!
Sam: Hey?
Dean: What?!
Sam: In Latin it's Cristo.
Dean: Dude, I know! I'm not idiot!

Sam: Are you humming to Metallica?
Dean: Calms me down.

1x05: Bloody Mary

Sam: Find anything?
Dean: Besides a whole new level of frustration? No.

1x06: skin

(talking about the shapeshifter)
Dean: Argh, the thought of him driving my car.
Sam: Ah come on.
Dean: It's killing me!
Sam: Let it go.

Dean: I think we're close to its lair.
Sam: Why'd you say that?
Dean: Because there's another puke-inducing pile next to your face.
Sam: Urgh, God!

Dean: That better be you Sam and not that freak of nature!
Sam: Yeah, it's me. He went to Becca's, looking like you.
Dean: Well, he's not stupid. He picked the handsome one!

Dean: All right, but first I want to find that handsome devil and kick the holy crap out of him!

1x07: Hook man

(at a frat party)
Dean: Man, you've been holding out on me, this college thing is awesome!
Sam: This wasn't really my experience.
Dean: Let me guess - libraries, studying, straight A's.
(Sam nods)
Dean: What a geek.

Dean: I told him you were a dumbass pledge and that we were hazing you.
Sam: What about the shotgun?
Dean: I said that you were hunting ghosts and spirits were repelled by rock salt. You know, typical Hell Week prank.
Sam: And he believed you?
Dean: Well you look like a dumbass pledge.

Dean: So you believe her?
Sam: I do.
Dean: Yeah, I think she's hot, too.

Dean: That's it! Next time, I get to watch the cute girl's house.

Dean: Your, uh, half-caff double vanilla latte's getting cold over here, Francis.
Sam: Bite me.

1x08: bugs

Dean: Kinda hungry for a little barbeque. How about you? (Sam glares at him) What, we can't talk to the locals?
Sam: And the free food's got nothing to do with it?
Dean: Of course not, I'm a professional!

Sam: Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease.
Dean: Huh?
Sam: Human Mad Cow Disease.
Dean: Mad Cow.... wasn't that on Oprah?
Sam: You watch Oprah?

Dean: (towel wrapped around his head) This shower is awesome.

Larry: Let me just say. We accept home owners of any race, religion, color or...sexual orientation.
Dean: We’re brothers.
Real Estate Agent: We accept home owners of all race, religion, color, or sexual orientation.
Dean: Right. Um, I'm going to go talk to Larry. Okay, Honey? (smacks Sam on the butt)

1x09: Home

Dean: Listen, Jenny, it's important, Ow!
(Missouri hits him on the back of the head)
Missouri: Give the poor girl a break, can't you see she's upset. (to Jenny) forgive this boy - he means well, he's just not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Missouri: Don’t worry – Dean’s going to clean up this mess. Well what are you waiting for, boy. Grab the mop. (Dean glares silently) And don’t cuss at me!

Missouri: Is that an EMF?
Dean: Yeah.
Missouri: Amateur.

Missouri: Boy, you put your foot on my coffee table, I'm going to whack you with a spoon.
Dean: I didn't do anything.
Missouri: You were thinking about it.

Missouri: You two have grown up handsome. (looks at Dean) And you were a goofy looking kid, too.

1x10: Asylum


Dean: Alright, so either Kelly had some deep-seated crazy waitin’ to bust out or something else did it to him.

Dean: (talking about his dad) You know I love the guy but I swear he writes like freaking Yoda.

Sam: Dean, when are gonna talk about it?
Dean: Talk about what?
Sam: About the fact that dad's not here.
Dean: Oh..uh, let's see...never.

Dean: Look, you wanna kill me? Here, take this, it'll make it easier for you.
(Sam tries to fire the gun)
Dean: You didn't seriously think i'd give you a loaded gun, did you? (knocks him unconscious) Sorry, Sammy.

Dean: (after finding Ellicot's body) Aw, that's just gross.

Dean: What are ya gonna do, Sam? The gun is filled with rock salt. It's not gonna kill me.
(Sam shoots Dean)
Sam: No, but it'll hurt like hell.

Sam: I told you I looked everywhere. I didn't find a hidden room.
Dean: Well, that's why they call it hidden.

Dean: Hey, I gotta question for ya. You seen a lot of horror movies, yeah?
Kat: Yeah, I guess so.
Dean: Do me a favor, next time you see one, pay attention. When someone says a place is haunted, don't go in.

Dean: Sam, put the gun down
Sam: (when he is crazy) Is that an order?
Dean: No, just a friendly request.

Kat: Hey Gavin?
Gavin: Yeah?
Kat: If we make it out of here alive, we are so breaking up.

Dean: The only thing that makes me more nervous than a pissed-off spirit…is the pissed-off spirit of a psycho-killer.

Dean: It's a text message - it's co-ordinates.
Sam: You think Dad was texting us?
Dean: He's given us co-ordinates before.
Sam: The man can barely work a toaster, Dean.

Sam: Spirits can appear at certain hours of the day.
Dean: Yep, the freaks come out at night.

Dean: Ghosts are attracted to that whole ESP thing you got goin' on.
Sam: I told you, it's not ESP, I just have strange vibes sometimes.

Dean: Let me know if you see any dead people, Haley Joel.

Dean: Hey Sam, who do you think is a hotter psychic? Patricia Arquette, Jennifer Love Hewitt, or you?

Katherine: So how do you guys know about all this ghost stuff?
Sam: It's kind of our job.
Katherine: Why would anyone want a job like that?
Sam: I had a crappy guidance counselor.

Dean: You shoved me kinda hard in there, buddy boy?
Sam: I had to sell it, didn't I?

Gavin: She kissed me.
Sam: Erm, but she didn't hurt you physically?
Gavin: Dude, she kissed me! I'm scarred for life!

Sam: What Dad "wants" doesn't matter!
Dean: You see that? That attitude there? That's why I always got the extra cookie.

(Sam has woken up after Dean has burned Ellcott's bones)
Dean: You're not gonna try to kill me, are you?
Sam: No.
Dean: Good. 'Cause that would be awkward.

1x11: Scarecrow

Dean: Hold me, Sam. That was beautiful.
Sam: You should be kissing my ass - you were dead meat back there.
Dean: Yeah right. I had a plan - I'd have gotten out.

Emily: I don’t understand. They’re going to kill us?
Dean: Sacrifice us. Which is, I don’t know, classier I guess.

Emily: So what’s the plan?
Dean: I’m working on it.
(several hours later)
Emily: You don’t have a plan, do you?
Dean: I’m working on it…

Dean: How’d you get here?
Sam: I stole a car.
Dean: That’s my boy!

Dean: Dude, you fugly.

Dean: I hope your apple pie is freakin' worth it!

1x12: Faith

Dean: Man, you're a lying bastard. I thought you said we were going to see a doctor.
Sam: I believe I said a specialist.

Dean: Look, Sammy, what can I say, man, its a dangerous gig. I drew the short straw. That's it, end of story.
Sam: Don't talk like that, all right? We... we still have options.
Dean: What options? Get a burial or cremation?

Dean: God save us from half the people who think they're doing God's work.

Dean: I'm not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot.

Dean: That fabric softener teddy bear...ooh....I wanna hunt that little b**** down...

Dean: You gotta take care of that car, or I swear I'll haunt your ass.
Sam: That's not funny
Dean: Come's a little funny

1x13: route 666

Sam: Where are you going?
Dean: I’m going for a little ride.
Sam: What?
Dean: I’m gonna lead that thing away. (pointing to the truck) That rusted piece of crap, you’ve gotta burn it.
Sam: How the hell am I supposed to burn a truck, Dean?
Dean: I don’t know. Figure something out.

Dean: Don't leave the house.
Cassie: Don't go getting all authoritative on me, I hate it.
Dean: Don't leave the house, please?

Sam: (over a cellphone) Where are you?
Dean: I'm in the middle of nowhere with a killer truck on my ass!

Sam: You mean you dated someone? For more than one night?
Dean: Am I speaking a language you're not getting here?

Cassie: We should fight more often.
Dean: Absolutely.
Cassie: (laughs) Actually, we were always pretty good at fighting.
Dean: Mm.
Cassie: (about the sex) This we were good at. It’s all the other stuff….not so much.

Sam: And you think this vanishing truck ran him off the road?
Cassie: (embarrassed) Oh, when you say it aloud like that.

Cassie: The guy I’m with, the guy I’m hoping might be in my future, tells me he professionally pops ghosts.
Dean: That’s not the words I used.
Cassie: And that he has to leave to go work with his father.
Dean: I did.

Sam: You told her. You told her? The secret? Our big family rule number one, we do what we do, and we shut up about it. For a year and a half I do nothing but lie to Jessica, and you go out with this chick in Ohio a couple of times and you tell her everything? (Dean still says nothing) Dean!
Dean: Yeah, looks like it

Cassie: Whenever we get, what's the word, "close," anywhere in the neighborhood of emotional vulnerability, you back off or make some joke or find any way to shut the door.
Dean: (laughs) That's hilarious. See, I'm not the one who took that big final door and slammed it behind me. I'm not the one who took the key and buried it.
Cassie: Are we done with that metaphor?

Sam: I figured maybe that would get rid of it.
Dean: Maybe?! Maybe?!? What if you were wrong?
Sam: Honestly that thought hadn't occured to me.
Dean: (mimicking Sam) "Well that honestly didn't occur to me." I'm gonna kill him.

Sam: By old friend you mean…
Dean: Friend that’s not new.
Sam: Yeah, thanks.

Sam: (talking about Dean and Cassie) What's interesting is that you guys never really look at each other at the same time. You look at her when she's not looking. She checks you out when you look away. It’s just an interesting observation, in a, you know, observationally interesting way.

Sam: I’m guessing you guys were working things out.
Dean: We’ll be working things out when we’re 90.

Sam: Occasionally I miss boring.
Dean: So this killer truck...
Sam: I miss conversations that didn't start with "this killer truck."

Sam: So burning the body had no effect on that thing?
Dean: Sure it did – now it’s really pissed.

1x14: Nightmare

Sam: When Max locked me in that closet, that big cabinet against the door, I moved it.
Dean: You have a little bit more upper body strength than I give you credit for!

Dean: I know what we need to do about your premonitions. I know where we have to go.
Sam: Where?
Dean: Vegas. (Sam ‘harrumphs’ and walks out) What? Come on man! Craps table? We’d clean up!

Sam: Well, don't look at me like that.
Dean: I'm not looking at you like anything...but I do gotta say you look like crap.
Sam: Nice...thanks.

Sam: You can’t tell me this doesn’t freak you out.
(long pause)
Dean: This doesn’t freak me out.

Sam: Well, I know one thing I have in common with these people.
Dean: What's that?
Sam: Both our families are cursed.
Dean: Our family’s not cursed…we've just had our dark spots.
Sam: (chuckles) Our dark spots are pretty dark.
Dean: You’re...dark.

1x15: the Benders

Deputy Kathleen: And it just got back to me. Says here your badge was stolen. And there is a picture of you.
(shows him a picture of a large black man)
Dean: I lost some weight and I got that Michael Jackson skin disease...

Dean: Oh, you gotta be kiddin’ me. That’s what this is about? You yahoos hunt people?
Pa: But the best hunt is human. Oh, there’s nothin’ like it. Holdin’ their life in your hands. Seein’ the fear in their eyes just before they go dark. Makes you feel powerful alive.
Dean: You’re a sick puppy.

Kathleen: (about Sam) Does your cousin have a drinking problem?
Dean: Two beers and he’s doin’ karaoke.

Dean: Don't ever do that again.
Sam: Do what?
Dean: Go missing like that.
Sam: You were worried about me!
Dean: I'm just saying, you vanish like that again and I'm not looking for you.
Sam: Sure you are.
Dean: No I'm not.

Deputy Kathleen: So you know his brother Dean Winchester died in St. Louis and was suspected of murder?
Dean: Yeah, Dean, kinda the black sheep of the family. Handsome, though.

Sam: So you got sidelined by a 13-year old girl?
Dean: Shut up.
Sam: I'm just saying, getting a little rusty there aren't you, kiddo?
Dean: Shut up!

Deputy Kathleen: Your, uh… your cousin's looking for you.
Sam: Thank god. Where is he?
Deputy Kathleen: I, uh… I cuffed him to my car.

(trying to get out of handcuffs)
Dean: I gotta start carrying paperclips.

Pa Bender: So what, you with that pretty cop? Are you a cop?
Dean: If I tell you, will you promise not to make me into an ashtray?

Pa Bender: Tell me, any other cops gonna come lookin' for you?
Dean: Oh, eat me! No, no, no...wait, wait. You actually might.

Sam: I was looking for you.
Jenkins: Oh yeah?
Sam: Yeah.
Jenkins: Well, no offense, but this is a piss-poor rescue.
Pa Bender: We never been that sloppy.
Dean: Yeah, well... don’t sell yourself short – you’re plenty sloppy.

Pa Bender: Only reason I don’t let my boys take you right here and now is there’s something I need to know.
Dean: How about “It’s not nice to marry your sister”?
(looking at pictures of the family's victims)
Dean: I'll say it again. Demons I get, people are crazy!

1x16: Shadow

Sam: All right, Dean. This is the place.
Dean: You know, I’ve gotta say Dad and me did just fine without these stupid costumes. I feel like a high school drama dork. What was that play that you did? What was it, uh – our Town. Yeah, you were good, it was cute.

Sam: I'm just saying, there's something about this girl I can't quite put my finger on.
Dean: But I bet you'd like to. Maybe she's not a suspect, maybe...maybe you've got a thing for her. Maybe you're thinking a little too much with your upstairs brain.

John: I got there just in time to see the girl take the swan dive. (pause) She was the bad guy, right?
Sam and Dean: (in unison) Yes, sir.

Sam: How'd you figure that out?
Dean: Give me some credit, man. You don't have a corner on paper chasing around here.
Sam: Oh yeah? Name the last book you read.
Dean: Ah, I called dad's friend, Caleb. He told me, all right?

Sam: So, you talk to the cops?
Dean: Uh, yeah. I spoke to Amy a, uh, charming and perky officer of the law.
Sam: Yeah, and what did you find out?
Dean: Well, she’s a Sagittarius. She loves tequila, I mean...whew. Oh, and she’s got this little tattoo...

Dean: (to Sam) Now, look, why don’t you go knock on her door and invite her to a poetry reading, or whatever it is you do, huh?

(over the phone)
Sam: Hi.
Dean: Let me guess - you're lurking outside that poor girl's apartment, aren't you?
Sam: No!...Yes...
Dean: You got a funny way of showing your affection.

Landlady: You guys said you're with the alarm company?
Dean: That's right.
Landlady: Well, no offense, but your alarm's about as useful as boobs on a man.
Dean: That's why we're here.

Dean: I’m just saying these outfits cost hard-earned money.
Sam: Whose?
Dean: Ours. You think credit card fraud is easy?

Dean: I talked to the bartender.
Sam: Did you get anything...besides her number?
Dean: Dude, I'm a professional. I'm offended that you would think that (smiles and chuckles as he displays a napkin with her phone number)... All righty!
Sam: You mind doing a little thinking with your upstairs brain, Dean?

Dean: So to recap, the only successful intel we’ve scored so far is the bartender’s number.

Sam: I think there’s something weird going on here.
Dean: Yeah – she wasn’t even into me!

Dean: Hey, Sam…?
Sam: Hmmm?
Dean: Next time you want to get laid…find a girl that’s not so buckets of crazy.

Dean: Why don't you go up and deliver a private strip-o-gram?
Sam: Bite me.
Dean: Oh no, Bite her. Just don't leave any teeth marks...
(Sam hangs up) Sam?

1x17: hell house

Sam: I have a confession to make, I was the one who called and told them I was a producer.
Dean: Yeah well I was the one who put the dead fish in the back of their car.

Dean: (to Ed and Harry) Would you look at that? Action figures in their original packaging. What a shocker.

Sam: That was your great idea? To burn the house down?
Dean: People won't go in any more.

Sam: Truce?
Dean: Yeah, truce... at least for the next hundred miles.

Ed: Okay, we've got an obligation to our fans, to the truth...
Dean: Well I have an obligation to kick both of your little asses.
Sam: Dean, Dean, hey, hey, just forget it, alright. These guys...I could probably bitch slap them both.

Dean: I don't know, Sam. I mean, I hate to agree with authority figures of any kind, but you know, the cops might be right about this one.

Ed: Harry, look at me, right here, okay? You are a ghost hunter, okay?
Harry: I know Ed, but I've never actually seen a real ghost before, okay. Like a real ghost, like an apparition...
Ed: This stuff right here, this is our ticket to the big time - fame, money, sex...with girls, okay? Be brave, okay... WWBD. What would Buffy do, huh?
Harry: What would Buffy do. I know, Ed, but she's stronger than me.

Dean: Hey, Sam, I dare you to take a swig of this.
Sam: What the hell would I do that for?
Dean: I double dare you!

Dean: Why don't you tell us about that house - without lying through your ass this time?

Dean: Man I hate rats.
Sam: Would you rather it was a ghost?
Dean: Yes.

Dean: So, you guys ever seen a real ghost before?
Ed: Once. We were investigating this old house and we saw a vase fall right off the table.
Harry: By itself.
Ed: Well, we-we-we didn't actually see it, but we heard it. And something like that, it changes you.

Harry: What are you guys doing here?
Dean: What the hell are you doing here?
Ed: Uh, we belong here, we're professionals.
Dean: Professional what? D

Dean: Most of those websites wouldn't know a ghost if it bit them in the pursqueeter.

Dean: What's the matter, Sammy? You afraid you gonna get a little Nair in your shampoo again, huh?
Sam: All right. Just remember you started it.
Dean: Oh, bring it on, baldy.

Sam: What the hell kind of spirit is immune to rock salt?!?

Dean: People believe in Santa Claus - why aren't I getting hooked up every Christmas?
Sam: 'Cause you're a bad person.

Dean: I barely have any skin left on my palm.
Sam: I'm not touching that line with a ten foot pole.

Dean: I thought the legend said the Mordecai only goes after chicks.
Sam: It does.
Dean: Alright, well I mean that explains why it went after you, but why me?

Dean: Looks like old man Murdoch was a bit of a tagger during his time.
Sam: And after his time, too. The reverse cross was used by satanists for centuries, but the sigil of sulphur didn't show up in San Francisco until the '60's
Dean: Exactly why you never get laid.

1x18: Hell House

Sam: You're getting wise in your old age, Dean.
Dean: Damn right.

Sam: I don’t know why you didn’t shoot him right then and there.
Dean: Yeah, Well. First of all I’m not going to open fire in a friggin' pediatric ward.
Sam: Good call.
Dean: Second, it wouldn’t have done any good cause the bastard’s bulletproof unless he’s chowing down on something. And third, I wasn’t packing. Which is probably a really good thing cause I probably would have just burned a clip in him off of the principal alone.

Sam: Hey Dean, I'm sorry.
Dean: For what?
Sam: You know, I've really given you a lot of crap for always following Dad's orders. But I know why you do it.
Dean: Oh god, kill me now.

Sam: An old person, huh?
Dean: Yeah.
Sam: In the hospital? Whew, better call the Coast Guard!

Sam: It got away?
Dean: Yeah, Sammy, it happens.
Sam: Not very often.
Dean: Well I don't know what to tell you, I mean, maybe Dad didn't have his Wheaties that morning.

Sam: Dude, dude, I am not using this ID.
Dean: Why not?
Sam: Because it says Bikini Inspector on it!

Dean: Don't worry, I'm sure there's something in Fitchburg worth killing.
Sam: Yeah, what makes you so sure?
Dean: Well, because I'm the oldest, which means I'm always right.
Sam: No it doesn't.
Dean: Yeah, it totally does.

1x19: Provenance

Dean: All right, well, if Isaiah's position changed then many some other things in the painting changed as well, you know, could give us some clues.
Sam: What, like a Da Vinci Code deal?
Dean: I don't...know, I'm still waiting for the movie on that one.

Sam: In other words, you want me to use her to get information.
Dean: Sometimes ya gotta take one for the team. Call her.

Sam: What kind of house doesn't have salt? Low sodium freaks!

Sarah: Uh, isn’t this a crime scene?
Dean: Well, you’ve already lied to the cops. What’s another infraction?

Sarah: There are million things that I want to say to you, but for the life of me, I can't think of one.
Sam: Yeah, I'll miss you too.

Dean: Consignment auctions, estate sales - it's like a garage sale for WASPs if you ask me.

Sarah: You’re shameless, you know that?
Daniel Blake: For that kind of money, I can afford to be.

Sam: Thanks, Dean, but I can get my own dates.
Dean: You can, but you don’t.

Sam: You know, I don't get it. What do you care if I hook up?
Dean: Because then maybe you wouldn't be so cranky all the time.

Sarah: You guys are uncomfortably comfortable with this.
Sam: Well, this isn't exactly the first grave we've dug. Still think I'm a catch?

Sarah: So this is what you guys do for a living?
Sam: Not exactly. We don't get paid.

Sarah: Look, you guys are probably crazy, but if you're right about this, well, me and my dad sold that painting. We might have got those people killed. Look, I'm not saying I'm not scared, because I am scared as hell. But I'm not going to run and hide, either. So, we going or what?
Dean: Sam, marry that girl.

Sam: I don't understand, Dean. We burned the damn thing!
Dean: Yeah, thank you, Captain Obvious.

Sam: And nothing. That's it, I left.
Dean: You didn't have to con her or do any special favors or anything like that?
Sam: Dean, would you get your mind out of the gutter?

Sam: Alright, so I think I got something.
Dean: Oh yeah, me too. I think we need to take a little shore leave, just a little, what do you think, huh? I'm so in the door with this one.
Sam: So what are we today, Dean? Are we rock stars, Army Rangers?
Dean: We're L.A. TV scouts looking for people with special skills. I mean, hey, it's not that far off, huh?

Dean: Grant Wood, Grandma Moses...what?
Sam: Art History course. It's good for meeting girls.
Dean: It's like I don't even know you.

Sam: Maybe you can get her to write it all down on a cocktail napkin.
Dean: Not me.
Sam: No, no, no, no. Pickups are your thing, Dean.
Dean: It wasn't my butt she was checking out.

Dean: (mumbling to himself) I'm the one who burned the doll and destroyed the spirit, but don't thank me or anything!

1x20: Dead man's blood

Sam: Hey, there's salt over here. Right inside the door.
Dean: You mean like "protection against demons" salt? Or, uh, "oops I spilled the popcorn" salt?

John: So boys.
Sam: Yes, sir.
John: You ignored a direct order back there.
Sam: Yes, sir.
Dean: Yeah, but we saved your ass.
John: You're right.
Dean: I am?

Sam: Hey, Dad, whatever happened to that college fund?
John: Spent it on ammo.

1x21: Salvation

Sam: I wonder how Dad’s doing.
Dean: I’d feel a lot better if we were there backing him up.
Sam: I’d feel a lot better if he were here backing us up.

Sam: Maybe we could tell them there's a gas leak, that might get them out of the house for a few hours.
Dean: Yeah, and how many times has that actually worked for us?
Sam: Yeah. (long pause) We could always tell them the truth.
Sam and Dean: (in unison) Naaah.

Cute Girl: Hi, is there anything I can do for you?
Dean: Oh god, yes.

1x22: Devil's Trap

Bobby: (handing Dean one of two flasks) Here you go.
Dean: What is this, holy water?
Bobby: That one is. This is whiskey.

Dean: I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up.
Sam: What? You never told me that!

Sam: Hey, uh, Dean? Ummm...You saved my life back there.
Dean: So I guess you're glad I brought the gun, huh?
Sam: I'm trying to thank you here.
Dean: You're welcome.

Dean: What's happening? Is there a fire?
Firefighter: Sir, you have to stand back.
Dean: Well, I got a yorkie upstairs and he pees when he's nervous.
Tags: quotes, supernatural
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